It's Not A Fair Comparison

I'm a big fan of music and movies.  I'm able to just sit and listen to music for hours.  This is especially true of songs which tell a story and or express deep emotions.  One of the songs in the past couple of years that I have grown to love is Sanctus Real's 'Lead Me'.  It tells the story of a man who realizes that he has been putting himself before his wife and children.  He comes to understand that what they want and need more than anything else is just to feel loved and spend time with him.  However, to be able to accomplish the massive feat to lead his family and sacrifice some of his desires that he needs his heavenly Father to lead him.  The difference in these two relationships is that up to this moment his family has been calling on him and his strength while he has been ignoring God.  This is a story that is all to common in the lives of those who live in the U.S.  Absent fathers are a plague in our society.  Now when I say absent fathers I don't mean a family who is without a male adult.  What I mean is that there are to many men who think me, myself, and I before they think of my God, my wife, my children. As a result, there are many in this nation who have daddy issues.  

Now here comes a bigger problem.  We believe that whatever level relationship we have with our earthly father will be similar to what we can have with our heavenly Father.  Now, I must say that is an awful unfair comparison!  I don't blame people completely for making this comparison.  After all, it is not surprising that our experiences help to shape how we view everything that comes before us.  However, I to blame the church leadership and individual believers for making this one to one assumption.  

When I became engaged to my beautiful bride I began to research in the God's word what he expected of me as a husband.  I looked at different marriages throughout the history of the Bible.  I at the wisdom writing of what it means to be a good and bad husband.  I learned from the gospels and epistles what not only what a Godly marriage looks like but what the Church and Christ look like as the bride and bridegroom.  I did this because I knew that I could not trust my experiences with what a Godly marriage looks like no matter what the good or bad experiences that I had had in the past.  I knew the only thing worth trusting was God's word on what a good and healthy relationship looks like.

So when it comes to fathers I believe that the same must be done.  We can't just go by what we have seen from our own father and other fathers.  Instead, we must go to the Bible and investigate fatherhood.  We must see the good, the bad, and the Perfect.  If you take time to do this several things will begin to happen.  The first is that you will be able to trust God better by understanding that He will never leave you or forsake you.  He will always love you no matter what you do.  He may discipline you, but that is only because He loves you (Hebrews 12).  You will understand that no human father has ever or ever will be perfect.  This will allow you to show grace and forgiveness to your earthly father.  Also, when you become a parent you will be able to raise your children more like your heavenly Father than an earthly father.  But, if you are already a father understand that it is never to late!  You can start anew.  One of my favorite lines from the movie 'Courageous' is when one of the fathers tells his son, "I don't feel like I stared well, but I want to finish well."  It takes a real man to admit when he is wrong.  Let your sons and daughters know that you are a man of God and demonstrate to them what it means to be a Godly father.  Ladies this goes for you as well.  Show your sons and daughters what a Godly woman and mother looks like.  Break the cycle of misunderstanding who our heavenly Father really is. 

If you don't know how to begin this task of knowing what the Bible says about fatherhood and Godly parenting than the first step is to open up a Bible concordance that matches the translation you use and start by looking up words like father and see what the Bible has to say about the topic.  It will take you some time. But you will be in for a ride as you begin to really know what the true definition of Father is.  After you've come to an understanding of our heavenly Father, a counselor friend of mine encourages you to check out the book How Children Raise Parents: The Art of Listening to Your Family by Dan Allender.  Until next time I pray that God watch over you and guide as you grow closer in your relationship with Him.