I want to take you on an emotional journey that I went through over the past year and half(ish). I want to show you how God helped me deal with these through worship music and the Psalms.
Reason 1 - This is me putting a bookend on a series of events.
Reason 2 - I hope that this is helpful to even one other person to help him/her through a difficult period of time.
2014 had two major events that caused turmoil in my family's life. In the spring I resigned as youth pastor at our church. Then in September my wife experienced a miscarriage. So for obvious reasons that year is not a favorite of mine. However, it is also the cause of great growth in me.
The first emotion I felt after the miscarriage was anger and confusion aimed at God. Just because you go to seminary and become a pastor does not mean that you are exempt from going through the grieving process. I withdrew from God for awhile because of my anger, because I knew He was powerful enough to heal and He chose not to do so.
Than the first song of healing entered my life. Never Once by Matt Redman
Though I owned the album with this song on it over a year before any of this took place, it was during a worship service that I first heard this song and tears came down my face. God was reminding me that He Never Once Left Me. He had been holding me in His arms the whole time. It was the first time since we lost our Annabelle Hope that I felt I was truly able to lift my heart in worship.
And the Psalms reminded me that I am not the only one to ever feel this way. God reminded me that I was not alone. This became my prayer:
“Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation” (Psalm 42:5, ESV)
So no matter what you are experiencing (anger, loss, sadness) put your Hope in God and praise His Mighty Name!
To Be Continued...
Bonus Song That Helped Me...My Hope Is In You by Aaron Shust-
